The Red Bull Rant

The quasi dark side of RBNY fandom.

The Great Debate: Real American

Real American.


It’s a phrase we will all likely see and hear numerous times between now and early November. There is, of course, no one proper way to define what makes a “Real American.” I do know, however, that a Real American is not merely somebody who has an extremely badass song played before he appears on the true Number One New York Red Bulls podcast.


I also know what a Real American isn’t. A Real American is not somebody who actually manages to pay attention to his family while a sporting event is on his TV. A Real American is not somebody who enjoys a Bud Lite Lime or two while watching a soccer match. A Real American is not somebody who, when given the choice to watch Major League Soccer on both Galavision and NBC Sports Network, chooses Galavision.


I’ll tell you what I think a Real American truly is. I think a Real American is somebody that’s only capable of speaking a single language, and doing so adequately at best. I think a Real American prefers the taste of whiskey over lime beer, disregards his wife and other family members when sports are on TV, and also shows as little professionalism and work ethic as humanly possible. A Real American also refuses to admit that he is wrong even when proven to be 100 incorrect in his opinions by a source far more knowledgeable and intelligent than he.


Not sure that you agree? You will on Friday. You all will.



About Zac Wassink

Zac Wassink is a diehard sports fan who has been writing on a freelance level since the 2006 NFL regular season. His loves are football, futbol, Cleveland sports and the New York Mets/New York Giants among other sports teams. PFWA member.

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This entry was posted on July 9, 2012 by in NY Red Bulls.
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